Potty Humor

(copy of a mass email I sent out on November 8, 2007)

Hello! I am smack dab in the middle of hades (ie- potty training) and I have decided that if I can't find the humor in it, then it WILL kill me. So, for those of you who keep asking what I'm up to lately... here it is: I pretty much spend all day long with four naked toddlers, either trying to prevent accidents or alternately cleaning them up because I didn't get there fast enough. During those in-between moments, I am trying to keep the kids from pulling all the toilet paper off the tube (they love how it zings in the air!), or, even worse, from putting the whole roll in the toilet. And of course I spend much of the day trying to keep them out of the sink (they flooded the downstairs bathroom a few weeks ago). I HATE POTTY TRAINING!!!!

As for progress: Tanner is totally potty trained, Sydney is almost there, Bailey is getting there, and Riley is nowhere near (and has absolutely no interest!)

As far as underwear goes: Tanner will only wear Thomas the Train, Cars, or Diego undies. Luckily, we are well-stocked. Sydney has a penchant for wearing Taylor's underwear, and therefore has a perpetual crack problem. Riley likes to put on her big girl undies by herself and is so skinny that she usually sticks both legs into one hole and ends up wearing them around her waist. And Bailey- well, let's just say that she prefers to not wear anything at all.

The up-side of all this mess is that I often overhear some funny "potty humor":

Yesterday Bailey did so great that I told her "you are almost potty-trained!" When Carter got home from school, she ran up to him (naked from the waist down, of course) and said, "Carter, I am a potty train!!!!" (which sent all the other kids into making train noises.)

Riley, for the first time, actually had a successful visit to the potty upon which she said, "Oh, I better go tell my guys that I went pee pee in the potty. Hey everybody! I go'ed pee pee in da potty!"

Tanner, trying to encourage Bailey, said,"Oh Bailey! Very good work. That is such pretty pee pee. Good job!"

All four of the kids will shoo everybody away from the bathroom when it is their turn and say, "Go away guys. I need my private-cy."


So, you can probably tell that right now I have no life! Thanks for letting me share, and pardon the crude nature of this message! Hope your days revolve a little less around the bathroom than mine do!

Best Witches and Great Pumpkins

Halloween was a much-anticipated and joyful event at our house. (Free candy AND dressing up- the kids were in heaven!) In fact, we are still "playing twick or tweet" which involves each of the little ones finding a bag or bucket of some sort and knocking on all the doors in our house yelling "twick or tweet" while Tanner runs from door to door and pretends to give them candy. Then they MUST say thank you (or, in Bailey's case "Happy Birthday Halloween!") or Tanner will take the pretend candy away.

The girls were "fairy princess witches" (as Sydney called it) or "the three little hags" (as Quinn preferred.) Tanner was the Chick-Fil-A cow, complete with an "eat more chiken" sign. (Carter's idea.) Taylor was Hannah Montana for one of her many parties, and a "Vampire Princess of Darkness" for some of the others. Carter, sadly, decided that he was too old to dress up and then changed his mind last minute and used my make-up to write all over his face and run around with friends to get candy. (But no photos, of course!)

We had lots of fun parties, including the "Trunk or Treat" at church, and a great play group party at my neighbor's. I think Stacy is the only soul brave enough to invite all four of my toddlers to her house for a play group, let alone a play group Halloween party, but the kids were thrilled! They put on their costumes and had treats and painted pumpkins over there. (Sydney still tells me "We can only paint on paper... or pumpkins." )

With the help of our good friends, the Ross family, we took the little kids all around the neighborhood to trick-or-treat. Once she figured out how it worked, Sydney could not go fast enough to each house, and dragged poor Shirlene behind her! She was on a mission to get as much candy as she could!

And, of course, we made a visit to the pumpkin patch (to buy more pumpkins to paint on- ha ha) with Jared and Carolyn and their boys. It has been such a busy and great month, with a visit as well from Diane and Grandma Roskelley! (I only hope that when I am in my 90's, I get around half as well as "Nana Kelley"!) We had such a great time with everyone who came, and the visits meant so much to us!

So now we head towards Thanksgiving and Christmas... yaay! The only problem is that my little ones do not understand that Halloween is the only holiday you really dress up for. Tanner keeps asking me what he should be for Thanksgiving! I said, "Thankful." His response: "That's too hard. How about I be a Power Ranger?" Can't wait to see what he'll be for Christmas!

My Train Wreck of a Blog

This was my husband’s response when I told him I was starting a blog: “A blog! Wow… um... do you think anybody’s going to want to read it?”

Bless his heart, he didn’t mean to be insulting. (If you know my husband, who is a ridiculously nice guy, you will realize that his question was innocuous.) He just couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out why anybody would want to read about the daily exploits of a frazzled mom of multiples plus. So I pointed out that everybody in America LOVES the show “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, and that this is pretty much what we are, minus two.

He still didn’t get it. (Frankly, he can’t stand to watch that show. It hits a little too close to home, he says.) So I told him to think about a train wreck. No matter how horrifying and gruesome, people can’t help but turn their heads and look.

And me, with my psychologist husband, my preteen, my drama queen, and 4 two-year-olds, well… we are quite often a train wreck. And maybe the wreckage will occasionally amuse somebody.

But who am I kidding? I will have a readership of two (my best friend and maybe my sister, although she’s about to have a baby so I might even lose her for a while) and, honestly, I’m okay with that. If I can make somebody- anybody- snicker for a moment over the insanity of my life, then it’s all good.